Autoethnography 5 page draft.

“I”

           

            What is “I”?  That question was asked to me in my English class that I attended my freshman year of college.  When I deeply think about who I am, and this question, the idea seemed almost unthinkable.  To look at myself and ask that question, and deeply think about who I truly am really made me wonder how I could possibly answer that question.  To me the answer to this question is a whole variety of traits.  Some people base it on character, personality, wealth, etc.  Of course when thinking of all of this, you may find out things or ideas about yourself that you did not notice before.  The letter “I” is used every day as just a letter.  Whether it is used as a noun, or as a letter to form a word in conjunction with other letters, the deeper meaning of that letter is never thought of.  Although this letter is simple, the meaning of it is far more personal than I have ever thought.  The interesting thing is that no matter what our background is, this letter and the question “What is I?” affects everyone.

            We can try to base the answer of this question off of our bodily senses; Smell, Taste, Touch, Hearing, and Vision.  I plan to use various writings I have done based off of my senses to try to answer this complex question of “What is I?”  I feel that the best way to describe to someone who I am is to describe what is personal to me.  What is more personal than my own senses?  The senses I use only belong to me, and only I can feel/understand what they mean.  To answer the question “What is I?”, I plan to describe who I am through my senses.

Taste

            The first sense I would like to reflect upon is my sense of Taste. I recall a thought I had when I wrote my first essay for the English class I attended.  From my blog:

I find it fascinating that I don’t stop to think of just how complex my sense of taste really is.  I can taste something that I enjoy, or dislike, and remember to have that satisfying taste again, or not to taste that particular item again.  With all of these memories being compiled in my brain, it is interesting to know how certain foods or tastes bring back memories that have been locked away in my mind.  This fact has become a constant reminder to me of just how easy my mind can be opened like a sealed vault, and then how easily a taste can open up “the vault” and all of the information that was stored away, is suddenly all rushed out to me at once in the few seconds it takes to taste a particular food.  (Have a Taste of Me)

The sense of taste has a play on my emotions, as well as on my mind and body.  Taste can bring out my happiness, sadness, anger, etc.  This is all done by taste, again opening up the vault to my memories.  Some tastes can bring out a mix of my memories, and emotions.  Just as the sense of taste is the key to some of the happiest moments in my memory; it also is the key to some of the darkest, despairing, mournful memories as well.  No matter how much I tell my mind to only think of the good, my mind must always show both “sides of the coin.”  To every aspect of good that is in the human mind, on the other side is just as well, the dark.   With the sense of taste being able to perform all of these emotions, the sense of smell is possibly the gateway to my mind.  A gateway to who I am.

Smell

The next sense I would like to use to describe a piece of who I am is my sense of smell.  The best way to describe my feelings on this sense is from an excerpt taken from my blog:

When I think about the senses I think of them all as very separate pieces of the big puzzle.  What the sense of smell makes me realize is that when I can’t smell; I can’t taste as well.  This made me realize that just like pieces of a puzzle, if one of my senses, or one of the pieces of the puzzle aren’t connected correctly, that means that another sense isn’t corresponding with another, which throws my whole puzzle out of place.  This is why when I am sick; my senses seem to have lost their edge.  The sense of smell is a wonder because it is the gateway to the realization to all of our other senses.  The sense of smell isn’t important to me because of the ability to smell things, but because without it, all of my other senses wouldn’t seem to be in place.  Without the sense of smell, my puzzle wouldn’t be complete.  (The Gateway)

The sense of smell interacts with our other senses, as well as our mind.  The sense of smell has always been an important staple in my life. I use smells to describe different items (sugar, smoky, etc.)  The sense of smell is one of the most important sense I have the ability to use.  The sense of smell is not simply one of the senses I obtain, it’s the key to my thoughts, memories, and feelings.  Smell is another gateway to my mind.  A gateway to who I am.

Touch

            The sense of touch is one of the most pronounced senses I obtain.  I use it every day and in itself can help show to others people who I am.  The simple use of the sense of touch for a handshake, hug, etc, can give other people a sense of who you are. To help describe my feelings on the sense of touch, and how it relates to who I am, I would like to reflect upon part of an essay I wrote on the sense of touch.

One of the most interesting things about my sense of touch is that it can relate with other senses as well.  If I was to be blindfolded, and had to feel a random object, I can use my sense of touch to try and come up with a mental picture or image in my mind of what the object I am feeling may be.  This of course is relating to my sense of sight, and relying on images that I’ve seen before in the past compared to what I am feeling with my sense of touch to combine that two thoughts, and figure out if they match in any way.  The sense of touch helps to complete the puzzle that is “I”. (Do You Feel Me)

The sense of touch is almost useless without the sense of sight helping.  Without any mental pictures to use, it would be very hard to be able to identify what different objects I would be feeling were. This is another example of how the senses are pieces of the puzzle that is “I”.  The sense of touch is yet another gateway into my mind.  A gateway to who I am.

Sight

            (Discuss sight)

           

Hearing

            (Discuss hearing)

 

(quote to use at conclusion) “What is most amazing is not how our senses span distance or cultures, but how they span time.  Our senses connect us intimately to the past, connect us in ways that most of our cherished ideas never could” (Ackerman). 

 

Works Cited

Ackerman, Diane. A Natural History of the Senses. New York: Vintage Books, 1990.

Jeffrey. Have a Taste of Me. Jeff Veach’s Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2009, from http://veachjeffreynjrp.wordpress.com

Veach, Jeffrey. The Gateway. Jeff Veach’s Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2009, from http://veachjeffreynjrp.wordpress.com/

Veach, Jeffrey. Do You Feel Me?. Jeff Veach’s Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2009, from http://veachjeffreynjrp.wordpress.com/