“Paper”

Jeff Veach

Professor Harrison

English 121-003

October 17, 2009

What is I?  I remember trying to answer this question about myself in my English course in college the semester prior this one.  I have come to find out that although I may have thought I answered this question with my autoethnography, this question of “what is I?” can always be a question that I keep asking myself.  When I tried to answer that question previously, I thought I nailed the answer down.  I have realized that as time goes by, and the seasons change, so does my answer of “What is I?”

This semester I am continuing to try and answer that question with relating my life to the “Hero’s Journey” according to Joseph Campbell, and Carl Jung’s various archetypes.  The archetype that I ended up being was “The lover.”  According to the book “Awakening the Hero’s Within”, the archetype is described as:

“The Lover archetype governs all kinds of love—from parental love, to friendship, to spiritual love—but we know it best in romance. Although it can bring all sorts of heartache and drama, it helps us experience pleasure, achieve intimacy, make commitments, and follow our bliss.”

This archetype was very fitting for me personally.  I am always trying to make other people around me happy, and feel loved in some way, shape, or form.  Whether that means I make them laugh when they are sad, or when I give them helpful advice when the other person may need it, it all surrounds around the basis of love. The thing that I find interesting about all of the various archetypes, are that they are affected the same way as emotions and actions in life.  What I mean by this is that the archetypes also follow the Ying-Yang.  For anything that is light, there must be a dark. Light would not exist without dark, nor would dark exist without light.  For everything good, there must be something bad/evil.  It is the counterbalance to life (or the force?)

One of the best main screen characters that I think of in relation to my archetype as “the lover” is Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars.  In the beginning of Anakin’s story, he is a little boy who eventually grows up. Through this growth, we quickly realize his love for his mother, and later on for Padme cloud his judgment.  The fear of losing the loves of his life lead to fear, and as Yoda says “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering.”  He then tells the young Anakin “I sense much fear in you.”

As the story progresses, he and Padme fall in love, and are married in secrecy.  Padme is pregnant, and also has fear of other people knowing.  The story progresses more, and Anakin finds out that his mother has been captured by Tuskan Raiders, and is being harmed. As he rushes to save her, she talks to him in her last breath, and dies in his arms.  He then kills all of the Raiders that did this to her in a furious rage.  This is the first time we see Anakin’s “dark side” come out.  Anakin fully completes his transformation into the dark side by giving into temptations from Emporer Palpatine, when Palpatine tells Anakin that he can teach Anakin how to save loved ones from death.  Losing his mother already, Anakin will do anything not to lose Padme.  In the end, Anakin’s lust for power and jealousy lead to him actually helping to kill Padme.

This story relates with the lover archetype, because in the beginning he would do anything for the affection of Padme.  As time went on, he started to fear losing his only love.  This fear lead to the shadow side of the archetype, and that is becoming obsessed with love, or bliss.  Anakin became so obsessed that he was willing to do anything to make sure he could learn the power to keep loved ones from death.  Anakin ended this part of his journey in the shadow side of the archetype.

Star Wars is so popular because so many people can relate to parts of the story.  The entire story is a bunch of archetypes making a “Hero’s Journey”.  We all have different characters in our lives.  We each have our lovers, our seekers, our warriors, our fools, etc.  This is why Star Wars is the perfect story when studying archetypes, or to just feel a bit of yourself in the story.  Star Wars had a big affect on me when I first watched the amazing story.

This relates to me personally, because at one time I became so obsessed with love, that I was willing to shun away friends, family, and beliefs that I once had just to be able to have this “love.”  The shadow (or dark) side of the archetype took over my mind, and actions.  In the end though, just like with Anakin, I realized the error of my ways, and I returned to the light (good) side of the archetype (force).  Anakin reconciles with his son, Luke, before Anakin’s death.  I reconciled with my thoughts, and my aspirations in what was really important in my life.  Of course, these thoughts are forever changing.

What is I?  Can that question ever be truly answered?  I don’t believe it can.  The reason for this is simply because our thoughts are always changing.  Something or someone that may have been very important to us, may not be anymore, or you may despise that person or thing.  Thoughts are always changing.  Mindsets are always changing.  I am always changing.  I will never be able to fully answer “What is I”, but I know one thing about myself that I didn’t know before;  I am a lover.

Works Cited

Pearson, Carol S. Awakening the Heroes Within. New York: HarperCollins